I was recently speaking about a so called “relationship problem” that has a girl.
She’s 35 years old and though she says that she anxiously wanted for being married with children at this point, it has not taken place.
This relationship goal of hers is actually her target for just a dozen years, and each year that “happily ever after” life has eluded her she’s developed increasingly unhappier with the life of her.
She complains that all the single males that she meets turn out to be “losers”.
( https://www.puss.co.il/escorts.html of hers is definitely angry rage pattern of verbal attack that she explodes into when her goals are not greeted in a relationship.)
I tried explaining to her that the more she waits for her life to improve her emotional state, her design of unhappiness grows more and more deeply engrained. This means that she is going to feel increasingly trapped in unhappiness under all the conditions.
She insisted that her unhappiness is an outcome of her not being in a loving relationship and she continued to blame her anger and melancholy on the men who’ve let her down.
This perspective of hers represents what we are able to call UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness.
I told her, “While you believe that your despondency would at once lift up whether you may only have a happy marriage, you would discover very quickly that the sorrow of yours and anger returns even in case you did encounter male of your dreams. Why? Because your negative emotional pattern is habitual.”
Provided that we make our unhappiness someone else’s responsibility, and blame it on our life-conditions, we cultivate an unhappy attitude that seems more and more inescapable.
Yet another factor at play here has to do with the so called “losers” she is bringing in.
Provided that we stay in a bad emotional state, we really can’t attract or even find good, psychologically healthy individuals to connect with.
We repel sentimentally healthy people on a conscious or maybe subconscious level, since our attitude problem “radiates” and others “pick up on” the bad emotional imbalance we live in.
Do YOU endure UNCONDITIONAL unhappiness?
The way out begins as you take responsibility for the emotional reactions of yours and attitudes toward life and toward people, instead of regarding the circumstances of yours or somebody else as responsible for how you think.
The next step is examining your perceptions and mental states until you appreciate how your negativity, not your circumstances, is really all that is short in the way between you and happiness.
The third detail will be to persistently and patiently work on becoming much more mindful of the thoughts of yours and the attitudes of yours, which means you are able to practice being somewhat LESS angry and unhappy and free yourself from the practice of unhappiness, little by minor, on a daily basis.
As a result, you will find the life of yours to be considerably more gorgeous simply the way that it is, you will draw in “better” people into your lifestyle, as well as you will be a little more sentimentally stable and resilient in case you do find an actual “winner” of a mate for a more healthy, happier marriage.